Loving someone

Have been thinking and thinking..when you love someone..it means #loving them with all of your heart..their good and their bad points..
If that is the case have I loved? hubby aside every few years I would fall in love..the first major fall was for Y..it took me 10 years? to get over him..he was it..softly spoken..beautiful scent and he sang..in the end we both agreed we were better as friends..I met him again a few years back..and after he left I'd thought to myself..why him? we had nothing much in common except for our music..

Then there was D..16-17 years older..I thought he was it again..I only knew him over the internet yet there was an instant bond..he was quiet..yet he knew..for the first time I knew we were on the same wavelength..I was over the moon..for once someone understood..it took me three years to finally meet him face to face..we had less than one day together as he lived half the world away..I'll always treasure it..yet if we had ended up together it would not have worked..I knew when I met him..he was quiet..his age? I would have been bored..like he has guessed even before we'd met..

After D was E..he was a great friend..on that note I'd better chase him up to say hello..he would Skype with me..serenaded me love songs to cheer me up when I was down..he asked me once would I be sad if he'd ever gotten married? I truthfully said yes..happy for him but sad too..he'd replied then he'd never get married..because he'd never want me sad..

And of course there was G..he was different..blue eyes..in hindsight I do not know if it was a good idea..his marriage broke up..I felt responsible..even though he broke it to pursue someone else..he said I  showed him what he was missing and he didn't want to be married and playing on the side anymore..

The last time I fell was with J..we clicked big time..I was scared because I have never felt that way with anyone before..I also knew chemistry always meant loving blindly..and the more it burnt..the faster it burns and one would be left with a charred heart lol..yet I pursued it..thinking what the heck for once do it..give it all..if it doesn't work out no regrets..and doing so I'd scared him away..I'd crossed the unspoken line..
...will write more when I have time..need my sleep..